SHEELA (1987)
Page 2: Plot
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| Two well-meaning doctors, Dr. Ram, and
his wife, Dr. Sita, head into the African countryside where
all of the sick people are laying on their backs awaiting their
arrival. They become stranded when their boat suddenly
goes over Victoria Falls because they didn't hear it coming.
Obviously, they are not injured, but the waters are alive
with terrifying six-inch baby crocodiles. They decide to
live in a papier mache cave and Sita soon gives birth to a daughter,
but expires from the effects of grimy face make-up. Ram
is bitten by stock footage of a cobra and their child is adopted
by a group of actors wearing very cheap ape suits. She
grows into a beautiful young woman with a flabby abdomen who
wears animal skins. She defends her animal friends from
mean natives that look suspiciously like fat-bellied Indian
extras covered with boot polish. |
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| Dr Ram's father, Rai
Bahadur, a multimillionaire (and a poor judge of character)
hires a bad-arse named Rajah to solve the mystery of his missing
son and daughter-in-law. Rajah is a stylish kind of guy
who wears tight red pants, red vest, white shirt and a black
neckerchief. He goes into the woods to look for Ram and
Sita accompanied by a very strange bunch of dudes: a stocky,
little man with a pencil moustache who wears a straw |
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| sombrero;
a hair-combing, gum-chewing hoodlum in studded black leathers;
a bald giant with a walrus moustache who dresses like Sinbad
and carries a big sword; and a gooney little guy wearing blue
overalls decorated with white plastic cutlery (no reason given).
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| A slutty redhead
named Téhéhé (I think she is supposed to
be African) also tags along for reasons I haven't figured out.
Shankar, the handsome son of Rai Bahadur's trusted housekeeper,
is also sent along to keep an eye on things because he has a
dashing way of dismounting a horse and wears Michael Jackson
leather gloves 100% of the time. He meets Sheela, the
wild girl, they fall in love and run through the grass in slow
motion. |
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| The nasty crooks decide to catch
Sheela to extract big bucks from Rai Bahadur but they learn
that the apes have taught her kung fu and karate. Téhéhé
sunbakes in a 1950s bikini for no good reason and Sheela's animal
friends eat all of the villains. Some other bad guys appear
from nowhere and capture Shankar and Sheela. |
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| Back in civilisation Sheela is
given a gold lamé dress to wear while Shankar is caged
in the basement, but he bends the bars like Hercules and escapes.
Sheela learns that the villains have been killing and
skinning animals so she tears off her dress and has a kung fu
fight with them. Sheela bites through the padlocks on
the animal cages and frees them (honest), so once again they
start chewing on the bad guys. Sheela bids a forelorn
Shankar farewell and rides off into the sunset on a white horse
shabbily painted to look like a zebra. A voice over sounds
like it is telling us she has concluded that civilisation sucks. |
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SOURCES
• Many thanks to Frank Bonilla for providing the abridged, Turkish-dubbed DVD of this film at the
last minute
IMAGES
• All vidcaps are from the abridged, Turkish-dubbed
DVD of this film |
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| • To obtain this film - pray hard, it is
near impossible to find |
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SHEENA
© is the property of Sony Pictures Corporation
This independent, non-profit, fan-based analysis of the Sheena material
is copyright © 2006 Paul Wickham
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